In the Name of Nice

In the Name of Nice
June 26, 2001

by Rose Murdock

Nice: "Pleasing and agreeable in nature; enjoyable. Having a pleasant or attractive appearance. Courteous and polite; considerate. Of good character and reputation; respectable." ¹

"Do you suppose that I came to give peace on earth? I tell you, not at all, but rather division."  Jesus, Luke 12:51 NKJ

I have found there to be a misunderstanding about Christianity by both those who are Christians and those who are not. That is that to be a Christian means you always have to be "nice."  Some people misunderstand what it means to turn the other cheek, love your enemies, do good to those that hate you and pray for those who use and persecute you. (Matthew 5:38-48)

Christians and non-Christians alike have sometimes thought that as a Christian you’re always supposed to be polite and agreeable. Don’t rock the boat. Don’t talk about Jesus and definitely don’t offend anyone. There is a spirit of antichrist in the world today (that’s been around since Jesus’ time), that would like to see Christians unable to live as Christians. To water down their beliefs to such a point that they have a ‘form of godliness but deny the power.’ (2 Timothy 3:5).

Jesus said to turn the other cheek but He also said:

"Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven. But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven. Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword.  (Matthew 10:32-34 NKJ)

Who do we care more about offending—people or Jesus? Where did the idea come from that Christians have to always be the one to back down from their beliefs for the sake of bringing ‘peace?’ There is a time to be a peacemaker but there’s also a time to bring division. We don't want to compromise our beliefs because of not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings or because we want them to like us. Those who are not Christians may accuse you of not being a "good" Christian because you are not nice. These people have a misunderstanding about Christianity and we as the Church have often agreed with them, apologized and felt guilty for not being ‘nice!’ 

Of course I’m not saying we intentionally go out and offend people for we are to walk in the love of God which is not rude according to 1 Corinthians 13. I’m not saying we should become judgmental and argumentative people. Jesus said He didn't come into the world to condemn the world but to save them (John 3:17). However, when we are secure in our beliefs we can have enough confidence to stand in those beliefs and disagree with others without being rude about it. There may be times we might disagree without even vocalizing our disagreement depending on the situation. I believe that those Christians who are argumentative with those who don’t agree with them are that way because they are not secure in their own beliefs. We don’t have to always try and defend ourselves.

It seems that we either go too far one way or too far the other. On the one hand we think we’re supposed to be nice so we float through life trying to please everyone and make them feel good and happy. On the other hand we become super religious and theological and argue doctrine with people. It might be worthwhile to question ourselves at times and ask ourselves why something makes us so angry. Is it because if it turns out we are wrong about a particular subject then we have to admit that what we've been saying all this time is really not true? if we have to admit we were wrong then we may have to change something in our life. We might have to change our church. We might feel we can’t admit we were wrong because it would be too embarrassing, it would cost too much.

When you know the truth in your heart and are secure in it, then you don’t feel threatened by those who disagree with you. In fact, you will have more compassion on them. There’s a difference between being rude and argumentative and simply taking a stand and not backing down from what you believe. Those who disagree with you may accuse you of being rude, stubborn or closed minded when in fact you are simply taking a stand for your beliefs and not being rude about it at all. Sometimes people are offended by that but that doesn't mean you quit believing the truth because they are offended by it!

Once we as Christians realize that it’s O.K. for us to stand firm in our beliefs and not feel we have to apologize for them, then we will be able to love the unlovable out of a sincere and willing heart, and be able to do so in a way that doesn't offend our Lord but rather brings glory to Him.

What it comes down to is that first of all you have confidence that your beliefs are according to the truth of God’s Word. Do this by examining your own heart to make sure you are ‘in the faith,’ and be open and honest enough before the Lord to admit any errors in your thinking (2 Corinthians 13:5). That honest relationship with Him allows you to walk confidently, full of compassion for others but at the same time not feel shaken, threatened or intimidated when someone disagrees with you causing you to back down and turn into a wimpy Christian who is religious but has no power of God operating.

Much has been done in the name of ‘nice’ which has appeared to be good, peaceful, Christian character on the surface, but in reality it’s deception at it’s best causing Christians to feel they have no right to believe the pure truth of God’s Word. Don’t let this attitude turn you into a watered down, powerless Christian!

 ¹ The American Heritage Dictionary. Copyright 1982, 1985 by Houghton Mifflin Company

Edited July 4, 2014